Dialogue text Continued...

Unusual Suspects (a.k.a. 'Festival of Frohike') -

Swat team members break into a warehouse where Mulder is nude and babbling.  The Gunmen (yes, they're technically not 'Gunmen' yet, but let's not split hairs) are hiding.  When the SWAT team finds the three, they are ordered to freeze.

Byers and Langly: "Don't shoot!"

SWAT guy: "Turn around!  Slowly!"

Frohike: "We didn't do it."

SWAT guy: "Do what?"

Frohike: "Whatever."

The three Gunmen are worked over by the SWAT guys.  Mulder starts screaming 'They're here!' over and over again while curled up in a fetal position.

Later, at the Baltimore PD...

Langly: "We're screwed.  Thank you so much for getting me involved in this, Doohickie."

Frohike: "Frohike, you hippie jerk."

Langly: (louder) "Doohickie."

Frohike: "You know, with that *long*, blonde hair, you're going to be the first one in here that gets traded for cigarettes." (Points finger in Langly's face for emphasis)  "I'm gonna be laughing my ass off."

Langly: (Starts to take off his jacket) "Oh yeah?  Wanna Cha-Cha?"

Frohike: (Also removing outerwear) "Any time, any place."

Byers: "Will both of you relax?"

Langly: "Shut up, you narc."

Frohike: (to Byers) "It's your fault we're here."

Byers is taken to interrogation room, where he spills his guts to Detective Munch.  We flashback to the Computer and Electronics show at the Baltimore convention center.  This is where a mystery woman appears.   Stalker Byers makes an entrance, and he follows her, trying (with hilarious unsuccess) to act casual, as she roams the exhibits.

Frohike (at the Frohike Electronics Corporation Booth): "*Hello*, pretty lady.  Picture this.  Crystal clear television.  Thirty-three channels worth, with no monthly cable bill."

Woman: "Excuse me?"

Frohike: "Nah!  I know what you're thinking!  Melvin, are you out of your mind?  No cable bill?  But that's *exactly* what I'm saying.   And I'm talking premium channels here, too.  You've got your HBO, you've got your Cinemax, you've got your Showtime.  All courtesy of this modestly-priced marvel designed and built by the Frohike Electronics Corporation."

Langly: (from behind dividing curtain, sarcastically) "There's a name that inspires consumer confidence."

Frohike: (hissing) "Shut up, punk." Back to woman- "Where were we."

Langly: (throws open curtain) "Hey lady.  If you want to watch Matlock with Andy Griffith all blue and squiggly, talk to this guy.  If you want quality bootlegged cable, you talk to me."

Frohike: "If you want a converter that will short out and burn your house down, *definitely* talk to this guy."

Langly: "That was a one-time fluke.  I heat-sink every bread board."

Frohike: "Oh yeah?  What about co-axl locks?  Do you use the RG-6U, or the 52-ORG8?"

Langly: "Trick question..." (Voice fades as we see what's-her face wander off.) He coughs, "Narc," as brown-suited Byers approaches, still hot on the trail.

The mystery woman pretends to bump into Byers by accident.   They go have coffee, she says her name is "Holly".  One fictitious story about her daughter, who has been kidnapped by a psychotic government employee/ex-boyfriend later, Byers is in front of a computer and hacking into the Defense Department system.   He's initially reluctant, very nervous but still eager to please.  They print out an encrypted file on her "daughter".  Then they hide from Mulder (who is looking particularly harmless), whom Ms. Doe Eyes fingers as the boyfriend in question. 

Mulder walks past Frohike's booth as he looks for the woman Byers has turned hacker for...

Frohike: "You look like a gentleman who would appreciate thirty-three channels of crystal clear television."

Mulder: "No thanks, handsome." (Passes Langly's booth, which has a 'Back In Two Hours' sign on it.)

Frohike: "Ah.  A man of distinction." (Leans over to watch Mulder walk away.) "Punk ass."

Byers' voice (Still talking to Det. Munch) relates how he and "Holly" sought Frohike's help.  "Holly" enters Frohike's booth, which of course draws his interest immediately.

Frohike: (puzzled, but not about to ask questions.) "Well hello pretty lady." She draws the front curtains closed.

Frohike: (stunned) "Oh yeah." Byers comes in. "What's with the narc?"

Back to the interrogation room with Detective Munch...Back again...Byers notes that Frohike now raises an interesting point.

Frohike: "I don't understand.  Why don't you just kick this guy's ass?"

Holly: "No.  I just want these pages decoded.  Can you do that?"

Frohike: "Sure baby, my kung-fu is the best.  But it could take hours.  I say, cut to the chase.  If pretty boy out there can tell us where your daughter is, we just need to go beat it out of him."

Holly: "Bad idea.  He's very dangerous-"

Frohike: "Lady, I'm dangerous.  All right, so we'll just follow him.  For all we know, he's got the girl here somewhere."

Byers: "Holly.  It makes sense."

Holly: "No.  Just stay away from him."

Frohike: "We'll stay back aways.  Just wait for us here.   Come on, FCC." (hands back encrypted sheets, pulls Byers away as "Holly" protests.)

The two trail Mulder, who is trolling the crowd for leads.

Frohike: (wearing hilariously funky headgear) "What's he doing?"

Byers: "Talking to somebody."

Frohike: (peering from underneath huge black visor) "This dude doesn't look so tough.  Mulder looks over in their direction.   "Act casual."

Mulder leaves, Frohike and Byers follow him into service hallway exit.  Mulder hides in a shadow, comes up behind the two.

Mulder: "What's up, fellas?  You looking for somebody?"

Byers: "Just, um, the bathroom."

Mulder: "I don't think it's down here.  Hey, are you with the FCC?"

Byers: "What's it to you?"

Mulder: "I think we share the same credit union." Introduces himself, produces picture of "Holly", asks if they've seen her.

Frohike: (very stiff and nervous) "Sorry."

Byers: "What did she do?"

Mulder: "What's it to you? Thanks guys, all right?" Answers huge cell phone, Frohike and Byers go back to Frohike's booth. 

Frohike: "What the hell was that all about?"

Byers: "Her ex-boyfriend is with the FBI?"

Frohike: (Pulling curtains of booth apart) "Where'd she go?"

The damsel in distress is gone.  Byers' fellow FCC booth jockey is, at the same time, being led away by MP's, who obviously think he is the one who broke into their computer system.   Frohike stops Byers, who is on the verge of turning himself in.

Byers: (softly) "Ken? Wait.  It was me."

Frohike: (grabs him) "What are you doing?"

Byers: "I hacked into their computer."

Frohike shoves Byers into the booth.

Frohike: (in Byers' face) "So you're going to turn yourself in?  Are you *crazy*?   A hacker never turns himself in."

Byers: "I am not a hacker."

Frohike: "Listen.  We've got FBI agents running around here, Military Police.  Whatever the hell is going on here, it's *big*.  And your lady friend is somehow in the center of it all."

Byers: "She needs my help.  How can we discern what's going on?"

Frohike: "The FBI are looking for her.  Hack into the FBI mainframe."

Byers: "You're talking about a premeditated crime against the United States Government."

Frohike: "Hey.  Your second one today." Plucks FCC button from Byers' lapel. "Welcome to the dark side."

Byers and Frohike interrupt Langly's D&D money game.

Frohike: "Me and the narc have a proposition for you."

Langly: "Say it." Frohike hesitates, clearly torn. "*Say* it."

Frohike: (almost cringing) "Your kung fu is the best."

Langly lets out a small, evil laugh.  The three go to a hotel room, where they set up computer equipment.

Langly: (to Byers) "Here.  Make yourself useful." Byers wiggles under a table to plug in some sort of trippy hardware.

Byers: "What does this do?"

Frohike: "Besides overheat, and burn the hotel down?"

Langly: "It's a loop line shunt.  Anyone who tries to trace us will get bounced around by CMP's call forwarding software." (Looks pointedly at Frohike) "My *personal* invention."

Byers moans about deserving to be fired and thrown in jail.

Frohike: "Shut up, already." (to Langly) "What do you need me to do?"

Langly: "Just watch and learn."

Langly gets into the FBI on the first try, brags a bit to the others, who pretty much ignore him.

Langly: "What now?"

Frohike: "Look up the FBI agent.  What did you say his name was?"

Byers: "Mulder."

Frohike: Relates Mulder's vital stats off the screen..."Commendations up the yin-yang.  Currently attached to the Violent Crimes Unit.  There's nothing in here about him being a psycho or having a daughter."

Langly, at Byers' request, looks up Holly, then Susanne Modeski.   The three find out that 'Holly' is actually 'Suzanne', and there is no daughter.

Frohike: (of Suzanne) "Employee at the Army Advanced Weapon Facility at White Stone, New Mexico."

Byers: "WhiteCorp."

Langly and Frohike read info from the computer screen which basically says that Susanne is dangerous, delusional, and has been on a killing and bombing spree.  The three are in shock as the hotel room opens, and of course it is the woman herself.   The three are understandably scared silly.  They back up.  Suzanne looks at the computer screen, sees herself, and comes clean.  She explains that she couldn't quit her job, that she was framed.  She starts to go into more detail about the plot against US citizens involving argotomine histamine gas.  Apparently the gas causes paranoia and anxiety in subjects exposed to small amounts.

Frohike: "Paranoia, gotcha." (He clearly thinks that Susanne is one beer shy of a six pack.)

Susanne goes on to help that impression.  She tirades about how the government seeks to control people's lives, right down to the Gideon Bible in every hotel room.

Frohike: "Now I'm *sorry*.  You're telling me that the US Government, the same government responsible for Amtrak-"

Langly: "Not to mention the Susan B. Anthony dollar."

Frohike: "Is responsible for some of the darkest, most far-reaching conspiracies on the planet?  That's just *crazy*."

Langly: (indicating Byers) "I mean, like, *this* guy works for the government."

Suzanne: "I'll prove it to you.  Just help me decipher this." Susanne pulls the encrypted data sheets from her purse, and a gun falls out.  She picks it up, and, not pointing it at them, asks again for their help.

Byers' voice cuts in here, explaining to Det. Munch how they didn't feel they had much choice at that point.

The next we see, the three are in another building with Suzanne.  Frohike is in front of a computer.

Frohike: (referring to Byers' flashlight) "Get it off me.  Langly, what's taking so long?"

Langly: "Should be up any second."

Frohike: "Oh yeah, here we go.  Far out."

They dechiper the coded data, which reveals that Susanne is telling the truth, that the chemicals she mentioned are about to be tested on humans, and the location of the gas.  As an added bonus, Susanne discovers that her dentist dabbles in electronics.  She retreats to the restroom with some wicked looking pliers to pull out her new, technologically enhanced tooth.  Everybody then ogles at the newly removed molar under high magnification.

Frohike: "Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" (There are little wires running through the tooth.)

Byers: "What's the location of that warehouse?"

Susanne smiles with an enormous block of ice on her face.  Detective Munch seems unsurprised to learn from Byers that they flushed the tooth.  The four break into the warehouse, and find out that the gas is being distributed in asthma inhalers.  

(Okay, since when is a group of people with asthma a *random test* of the population?  Never mind.)

Mulder catches up to Susanne at this point and all hell breaks loose.

Frohike, Langly, and Byers sensibly get on the ground when Mulder orders them to.  He's telling Suzanne, who looks like she's about to bolt, to stop moving.   He looks scared that he might have to shoot her.  Just then, two men working for God Knows Who step up from behind Susanne and tell her to come with them.  Mulder isn't really too happy with this, and challenges them.  In response, they shove Susanne behind them and start shooting. 

Mulder is outgunned and gets a nice spray with the funky argot gas.  He decides that, what the hell, this might be a good place to get naked and start freaking out.  The two covert men are just about to kill our tripping Special Agent when Susanne shoots them instead.  Mulder is too busy tearing off his clothes and writhing to care much.  That's okay, though, because Susanne has pressing plans elsewhere.

Mr. X makes an appearance, black gloves and all. (Yay!)  He directs the sanitation crew, which possesses a cleaner that I wish I could use on my kitchen, because it looks like it does one hell of a job.  One of the covert guys gets placed in what looks an awful lot like a body bag.  He protests, reasonably enough, that he's still alive, but nobody seems to notice except for Frohike, Byers, and Langly. 

The Gunmen are sort of being ignored while they watch the proceedings in shock.

Byers: "Who are you people?"

Frohike: "Woah!" (in response to forklift coming right at them)

Mr. X walks over and bends down to pick up the gun Susanne dropped after shooting the two evil dudes.

Byers: "What authority do you have to do this?"

Langly: "Shut up, Byers."

Mr. X doesn't respond.  He gets up and walks past the three men and over to Mulder. 

Sanitation Guy: (indicating Mulder) "Bag him?"

Mr. X: (straining to understand what Mulder is mumbling) "No one touches this man."

Byers: "Sir."

Mr. X turns, slowly, to listen to him.

Byers: "Why are you doing this?  You guys framed Susanne Modeski, you plan to test that chemical on an unwitting public.  Why?  For what possible reason?"

Frohike: (out of corner of mouth) "Byers, shut up."

Byers: "What gives you the authority?"

Mr. X: (to the sanitation people, indicating our three heroes) "No bags."

Frohike, Langly, and Byers are pushed to their knees by two of the cleaning crew as if in preparation for their imminent execution. 

Frohike: "Woah, guys."

The three look like they expect to be killed, and for good reason.   However, it turns out that Mr. X is just having a little fun with Byers.  He aims the gun at the back of Byers' head.  When Mr. X presses the trigger, the chamber is empty, although it did look earlier like he put a bullet into one of the chambers.

Mr. X: (stepping away) "Behave yourselves."

It looks, though, like Byers really liked the idea of getting shot, because he has more to say.

Byers: (badly rattled) "So that's it?  Trying to intimidate us, to scare us?   So we'll keep quiet?"

Frohike: "Byers, I swear to God, I'll shoot you myself."

Byers goes off about how Susanne was right about everything, including JFK's assassination.

Mr. X: "I heard it was a lone gunman."

The three stare after Mr. X in shock.

Byers finishes talking to Detective Munch, who, predictably, buys none of it.

Langly: (back in holding cell) "I am in hell."

Frohike: (groans as he wakes up) "Women."

Byers: "What do you mean, 'women'?"

Langly: "You know exactly what he means.  Your molar-pulling girlfriend roped us in and left us swinging in the breeze."

Byers: (incredulous, to Frohike) "Is *that* what you meant?"

Frohike: "Look, she is hot.  But you have to admit that we're here because of her."

Byers: "I'm here because I wanted to learn the truth.  I assumed that was the same for you.  Susanne opened my eyes.  She doesn't owe me anything.  If there was some way I could help her still, I'd do it in a second."

Detective Munch springs them then, stating that Mulder has collaborated their story.

Det Munch: "Here's a tip.  Aluminum foil makes a lovely hat, and blocks out the government's mind control rays.  Keep you guys out of trouble."

While they are being given back their belongings, Byers overhears a tip that Mulder's stolen car was dumped at the train station.  He pulls the other two aside.  They seem okay with this.

Byers: "Susanne must have taken Mulder's car last night.  She left it at the train station."

Langly: "So?"

Byers: "So maybe we can catch up with her."

Frohike: "Where?  She took a train."

Byers: "She's too smart for that.  She just meant to throw them off."

Langly: "She said she wanted to go public."

Frohike: "The Baltimore Guardian is only a couple of blocks down from the train station."

The Gunmen catch up with her, and she tells them the newspaper didn't believe her story.  Byers say that they still want to help.  She kisses him, and then a pay phone starts ringing ominously.  Susanne warns them to be as paranoid as possible and to find and share the truth.  Very shortly afterwards, she's kidnapped by people in a black sedan.   Mr. X is in the car.

The next we see, the three are in the now-empty convention center.  Mulder approaches them. 

Frohike: "Feeling better?"

Mulder: "Yeah I am, thank you.  I, um, just have these weird ideas in my head that I can't seem to shake."

Frohike: "What kind of ideas?"

Mulder explains that he is puzzled that Susanne Modeski is no longer wanted, although she is still missing.  They tell him their story.

This was such a wonderful episode.  Frohike is an even cooler character than I thought, and that's saying something!  I think the dialogue from this episode took up more space than all the previous *seasons* combined...

Emily-

Mulder calls Frohike from a cross between a maternity ward and retirement home...

Frohike (wearing telephone headset) - "Christina Sherman delivered a healthy baby girl September 25, 1994."

Mulder - "Gretchen Miller?"

Frohike - "Delivered a baby boy March 18, 1996."

Mulder - "Evelyn Burmeister?"

Frohike - "Delivered a baby boy June 21, 1994."

Mulder - "That makes eight for eight."

Frohike - "Is it adoption service?"

Mulder - "No, I'm at the maternity ward."

Frohike - "Any fetching young mothers in there?"

Mulder - "Yeah, I think you might have a shot here, Frohike.  Do you know anything about pharmaceuticals?"

Frohike (looks over his shoulder) - "Medicinal or recreational?"

Mulder - "There's two prescriptions on their med. charts that all these women have in common.  Abbreviated PMZ200 and

Durtab."

Frohike - "Estrogen and Progesterone."

Mulder - "Hormones."

Frohike - "But that doesn't make any sense, Mulder.   Pregnant women have those hormones in abundance.  You wouldn't give those to pregnant women."

Mulder - "You would these." (hangs up.)

Kill Switch-

Byers - "Jobs and Wozniak at Apple . . . Gates and Allen writing Basic . . . The Homebrew Computer Club's first meetings . . . Gelman was there."

Frohike - "Now they're power brokers and billionaires. Back then, they were just inspired nerds."

Frohike (examining Gelman's laptop) - "This is a wonder.  I've never seen anything like it.  Gelman built this?"

Mulder - "That may be what got him killed."

(Langly and Frohike exchange looks)

Langly - "Heavy casualty."

Frohike - "A brother goes down."

(reading Invisigoth's email) Byers - "Could be an address."

Frohike - "Seven digits. An alphanumeric string of four." 

Mulder - "A standard ID. Shipping container."

(Mulder and Scully bring Esther into the Gunmen Headquarters) Byers - "Hey . . ."

Frohike:  "It can't be. It is."

Langly - "Esther Nairn."

(lots of visual stuff here)

Frohike - "She is *so* hot."

Esther - (best line of the ep, IMO) "Are you going to take off these cuffs, or do I have to do this with my tongue?"

(wonderful stunned looks on the Gunmen faces)

Mulder: "You don't want to take a vote."

(Esther explains about how the AI may have its own 'home')

Byers - "It would need a T3, at least."

Scully - "T3?"

Frohike - "A hardline. 45 megs a second."

Byers - "Major research labs and internet service providers use them."

Want to hear these in his own words?