I admit it, I get a huge kick out of hearing "Welcome to the Dark Side" whenever I boot up my Beloved Toshiba. So I thought I would share the wealth. Download whatever you want. Remember, a day without Frohike is like a day without... well, a good stalking.

Blood

donethat.wav Frohike: "Been there. Done that."

pervers.wav Frohike: "So Mulder, where's your little partner?"

Mulder: "She wouldn't come. She's afraid of her love for you."

Frohike: "She's tasty."

Mulder: "You know, Frohike, it's men like you who give perversion a bad name."

buff.wav Frohike: "If that's the lovely Agent Scully, tell her I've been working out. I'm buff."

Fearful Symmetry

haircut.wav Byers: "So how much is this costing the taxpayers, Mulder?"

Mulder: "Ahh, about 150 bucks an hour."

Frohike: "Ouch. Almost as much as Bill Clinton's haircuts."

Apocrypha

pencil.wav Frohike: "I've got something here. Writing. Somebody wrote on top of the package and left an impression."

Mulder: "Let me see that."

Byers: "Your guys at the FBI turned a major serial murder with a vestigial pen impression."

Mulder: "It does look like something."

Langly: "Your sci-crime guys at the bureau have a laser there that can measure any change in a surface down to a few nanometers."

Byers: "Actually, they can lift a perfect impression using magnetic toner and a sheet of mylar. An electrostatic device is applied to the specimen, and renders the information by drawing the toner from the indentations to the mylar surface."

Frohike: "Actually-"

Mulder: "Actually, it's a phone number. New York city area code 555-1012. Now don't drop that, that's a finely calibrated piece of invetigative equipment. I gotta make a phone call."

g-man.wav Frohike: "Nothing to it."

Byers: "You should call upon our services more often."

Langly: "We show talent for these g-men activities."

Mulder: "You mean,if I want someone whacked on the knee with a lead pipe?

Frohike: "Only if you want the job done right."

Paper Clip

waitvide.wav Frohike: "Unbelievable! We thought you were history!"

Mulder: "You're going to have to wait a little longer for my video collection, Frohike."

Langly: "Where were you? We've been looking all over."

Holdhatd.wav Frohike: "Hold onto your hat, dude."

Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man

Frohike.wav Mulder: "Now, what's going on?"

Langly: "Frohike's close."

Frohike: "Don't use my name! What the hell's wrong with you? Now I'll have to kill you!"

Byers: "Langly and I performed a complete sweep with the CSM 700 and did not detect-"

Frohike: "He's everywhere. Everywhere! He'll kill me!"

Byers: "-a single hot light indicating a bug."

Frohike: "The CSM 700 is a piece of crap."

Unusual Suspects

nohandsm.wav Mulder: "No thanks, handsome."

Frohike: "Ah! A man of distinction."

hloptldy.wav Frohike: "Hellooooo, pretty lady!"

fight2.wav Frohike: "Designed and built by the Frohike Electronics Corporation."

Langly: "There's a name that inspires consumer confidence."

Frohike: "Shut up, punk. Now where were we?"

Langly: "Hey lady, if you want to watch 'Matlock' with Andy Griffith all blue and squiggly, go right ahead and buy from this guy. If you want quality bootleg cable, you talk to me."

Frohike: "If you want a converter that will short out and burn your house down, *definitely* talk to this guy."

Langly: "That was a onetime fluke. I heat-sink every breadboard."

Frohike: "Yeah? What about co-ax lots?"

paranoia.wav Frohike: "Paranoia. Gotcha."

melvin.wav "I know what you're thinking... 'Melvin, are you out of your mind? No cable bill?'"

shutpunk.wav Frohike: "Shut up, Punk."

ooyeah.wav Byers: "We enlisted the help of one Melvin Frohike, Computer Hacker."

Frohike: "Hello, pretty lady. Oooh yeah."

kungfu1.wav Frohike: "My kungfu is the best."

kungfu2.wav Frohike: "Your kungfu is the best."

kickgass.wav Frohike: "Why don't you just kick this guy's ass?"

Langly: "-Not to mention the Susan B. Anthony dollar - "

Frohike: " -Is behind some of the darkest, most far-reaching conspiracies on the planet?"

supercomp.wav Frohike: "Thank god for supercomputers."

Darkside.wav Frohike: "Welcome to the dark side."

itsbig.wav Frohike: "Listen, we got FBI agents running around, military police- whatever the hell is going on around here, it's big, and your lady friend is somehow at the center of it all."

fight.wav Langly: "Thank you so much for getting me involved in this, Doohickey."

Frohike: "Frohike, you hippie jerk."

Langly: "Doohickey."

Frohike: "You know, with that long blonde hair, you'll be the first one in here that gets traded for cigarettes, and I'm gonna be laughin' my ass off."

Langly: "Oh yeah? You wanna cha-cha?"

Frohike: "Any time, any place."

Byers: "Will both of you relax!"

Langly: "Shut up you narc,"

Frohike: "It's your fault we're here!"

women.wav Byers: "What do yoiu mean, 'women'?"

Langly: "You know exactly what he means. Your molar-pulling girlfriend roped us in and left us swinging in the breeze."

Byers: "Is that what you meant?"

Frohike: "Look,she *is* hot, but you gotta admit that we're here because of her."

Byers: "I'm here because I wanted to learn the truth. I assumed it was the same for you."

why.wav Byers: "Why are you doing this? You people framed Suzanne Modeski, you plan to test that chemical on an unwitting public - why? For what possible reason?"

Frohike: "Byers, shut up."

Byers: "Who gives you the authority?"

dallas.wav Byers: "You're just trying to intimidate us... to scare us so we'll keep quiet!"

Frohike: "Byers, I swear to god, I'll shoot you myself."

Byers: "It's all true, what Suzanne said about you people, isn't it? About John F. Kennedy? About Dallas?"

X: "I heard it was a lone gunman."

Killswitch

so_hot.wav Frohike: "She is SO hot."

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